sixteen

I cannot believe I haven't posted since Saturday!! Woops!

Anyway, today was weigh-in day at WW and I lost 1.2lbs.. I'm happy that I lost, I really am.. I was just hoping for like 2 or 3 for my kick off. 1.2lbs is wonderful otherwise. At least I lost.

My goal is to lose 10 lbs in the next five weeks. I'm off from school, I'm going to follow WW exactly and work out like twice a day! Better, actually.. I don't usually finish my points.. I'm just going to have to be really careful because the holidays. This week, I had a departmental Christmas party, a cookie making party, and a birthday party. This weekend I have a birthday party (that I am NOT really feeling), and my friends want to go out to Stamford (which is getting a big fat NO from me. Do not want).

Tomorrow I have my last final.. I have yet to study for. I'll work on it. I moved out of school today which was thrilling. I'm so happy to be home for the next two (and a half years). My move out date has been set for sometime in March-May 2012. I'm not OCD I swear. I'm soooo excited to be done.

Anywho, I've been keeping up with people on Facebook (stalking people on Facebook) and I can't wait to start with freaking nursing already! I'm getting jealous of people who have. Like seriously jealous. Ugh there is nothing I can do. It will be good to have some time at WCC though.. maybe I'll meet some new people there.. not be surrounded by tons of females all the time (as an ARH major, and soon to be nursing student, you see a lot of them).

I guess this update will suffice for now. I'll do it more, promise.

fifteen

I did NOT eat well today. I don't think I went over my points, but I should be better considering I'm so new at this.

Yesterday was my last day of classes and thats realllly exciting because I wish I was graduating this semester. I handed in my 26 page term paper with images and I actually felt confident about it. What a weird feeling! I have two finals left and I'm dunzo. We had the department holiday party last night too. It was fun, but I especially liked that I got to see another professor-house. It was pretty nice. We also got to meet her husband and that was EXCITING. I'm oddly fascinated by professorial spouses. I drove over there leading the Art History convoy which I think is pretty hilarious. I took my mom's car with GPS and relied on calling a friend to get us all there, but it worked.

So today we had a cookie party with my cousins. I made so many cookies (and ate so much dough). I'm exhausted! I kind of enjoy cooking and baking though. Hope this isn't a phase. It was actually a lot of fun. My cousins are a lot of fun though, so that helped.

I was looking on allnurses.com about Pace ABSN and I am so nervous I wont get in. I should, but I'm nervous. I can't wait to get started... Exactly one year.

fourteen

I went to WW yesterday. I was about 10lbs less than I was afraid, so that's pretty good. I'm still about five lbs heavier than I was WHEN I STARTED when I was sixteen. Yikes.

Tomorrow I have to hand in my big term paper. I have to finish it tonight... Ugh it's almost midnight and I have about two hours of work to do... Why do I procrastinate like this?

Tomorrow is also the department party. That'll be fun.. or something. Just felt like updating.

thirteen

Lucky.

So oh my God, I have to hand in some paper corrections tomorrow and I'm all anxious about it. This paper has HAUNTED me for a year now.. I wrote it last year, and it was terrible, so for our Major Seminar I had to fix it up and present it... I kind of did the presentation (hysterically crying the entire night before) and right now I have to finish the corrections. Why I can't bring myself to do this I'll never know. I am literally afraid of this paper. Literally. In my best Rachel Zoe voice, literally.

I have the TV on in the background.. who told Jay Leno he was funny? He is not funny.

I'm going to WW tomorrow. I'm pretty nervous about that too. I'm going to be really heavy.. ugh fo sho. The upside to that is my first week back on the plan will put me at like a 5 lb kick start, which will be really positive. I just have to face this fear, it's my own fault in the first place. I have so much weight to lose.. I am afraid of everything.

Yesterday, I went to my room at school and my name tag was ripped off my door. Someone is harboring some pleasant feelings for me. I sent my roommate a dick text saying it was bullshit.. old roommate who hates me was just sitting there being cold and amazonian. If it isn't obvious I'm not welcome there. I know me staying home so much looks like I'm hiding from the axis of bitchy, but I'm just so much happier here, and I don't think their drama and problems and anger are worth my feelings.

And yeah, this post is filled with anxiety. Maybe I'll feel better about everything tomorrow.

twelve

This is a followup.

Last night my brother came home from CONIS with two friends to sleep in the warmth. They had it at Donald Trump Park, next to FDR Park in Ytown, so he drove on over. I had an impromptu sleepover (haha) with his female friend who happened to be nice. Thankfully. Could have been super awkward. She slept in the pull out in my room, and his male friend slept in the pull out in his room. My mom made them grilled cheese and hot chocolate. Go figure. Adorable.

Also, if you're wondering why I'm posting on 11:45 on a Saturday, it's because it's snowing outside. Also, I probably wouldn't have gone out any way... I'm lame. I didn't go out last night either. This is probably going to be how I make all my friends in life. By staying home and playing around on my computer. I feel lame, I get it... I'll change. One day.

I am well aware that my social life is lacking in the most severe ways and I understand the effects this is having on my life in the present and the effects it will have in the future. FML.

eleven

Ok, so I've been having issues with my computer - it keeps telling me the disk is full and I have been fuh-reaking out. Well, as it turns out this has to do with the fact that I have a redic amount of tv shows on my itunes. I almost deleted seasons one and two of Battelstar Galactica, but didn't. THERE ARE SO MANY THINGS WRONG WITH THAT: 1) I own seasons one and two of BG, 2) I paid for seasons one and two of BG, 3) I can't bring myself to delete them! I haven't even finished the series... I can't bring my self to do it at all. It's a guilty pleasure, I can't help it, not at all.

I also downloaded a Switchfoot cd today. What? I don't know. I loved them in HS, and I heard something today and couldn't help but get the cd. It just put me in a happy place. It's funny... I like all this safe stuff today. I mean I watch Grey's Anatomy like every other female between 18 and 49 and my last two cds (before Switchfoot) were John Mayer's new one and Graceland by Paul Simon.. I'm safe (I love Coldplay, I shop at J.Crew, I drive a Toyota for heaven's sake..sorry). Sometimes I don't want to be safe, I want to be happy. I want to smile... I want to get that guilty pleasure feeling in the belly that Romantic Comedies and Demi Lovato CDs give me.

If it makes me happy can it be all that bad? I know you can't please 100% of the people 100% of the time, but I'm pretty sure the only people I can talk to about pop-culture are 15 year olds, Dwight Schrute, and the occasional frat boy. My God.

ten

Today's High:

One more week of classes! Then two finals and dunzo until January 25th! Win.

Today's Low:

I hate a pint of Neapolitan Ice Cream yesterday. Poor, poor choice.




I really need to lose weight. I want to I want to I want to! I guess I should really get that WW monthly pass. I know that's the place that can help me.

nine

MY PRESENTATION WENT SO WELL. That never happens! It was crazy, I didn't even need the notes at the end. Insanity. After I presented, I came home and relaxed here. I went back to school at like 10 because I had a trip this morning. We went down to the MMA and then over to MOBiA. Both interesting, but it was a long day. We left at 7:45 and didn't get back until 4. I got home at 5. I know people have longer days, but I've been going on four hours of sleep a night for the last week. Tomorrow I have to be up at about 8 to get to work at 10, then I have class, then work again till 5. I have to do a paper (5 pages), corrections on 3 other papers, and type up an interview to present to the class for 10 minutes. All of this is due next week, ranging between Monday and Wednesday. Then, have to study for two finals, and THEN IM DONE.

So with that out of the way, I'm so tired. I understand this is boring.

eight

And she said losing love
Is like a window in your heart,
Everybody sees you're blown apart,
Everybody sees the wind blow,

I'm going to Graceland,
Memphis Tennessee
I'm going to Graceland,
Poorboys and Pilgrims with families
And we are going to Graceland,

And my traveling companions
Are ghosts and empty sockets
I'm looking at ghosts and empties,
But I've reason to believe
We all will be received
In Graceland



Paul Simon is a poet.

Working on my presentation. Putting the images together now, putting the words into it later tonight. Going home to work out, shower, go to sleep... coming back here, leaving the house at 8:20. LONG DAY AHEAD. Presentation will be over with by 4pm. Thank God. I really did intend to sleep here tonight. Sucks that I just hate this place.. and I forgot my makeup.

seven

Ah I missed today (yesterday?) by one minute. Damn.

Anyway, today was good. We put up the tree and it is beautious. We also went walking.. back in the exercise routine. Tomorrow I have so much to do though. I have to write and illustrate my presentation for my PRESENTATION on Tuesday. Yikes for sure. But after Tuesday, I'm kind of in the clear work wise. I have to do corrections on three papers (but I can knock those out a day a piece), and I have to write a project for Bio, which I can do in about two days: one day to write and one to revise. I'm pretty happy about all of this.

I have to slowly bring things home.. I'll be moving back in for good the week of the 14th. It's finals week, and I have two. A Bio one (easy peasy) and an Art History which will kick my ass, so I must start studying as soon as the study guide's up.

Me and mom are going to Weight Watchers on Wednesday. I'm thinking about delaying this for a week.. I am scared. I want to lose this weight (A LOT) but I am so afraid to see the scale. So afraid. But I can reach my goal by May. In March I want to be half way.

I downloaded the new John Mayer and Graceland by Paul Simon. I can't wait to get listening. LOOK AT ALL THIS POSITIVE ATTITUDE IN THIS POST. It's so unusual. All I need now is a boyfriend prospect? Eeeh.

six

I love the term "spin doctor." It's great.

So anyway, yesterday afternoon I went to coffee, then dinner, with my friends. Coffee was nice, and dinner was delicious. We had Greek, and every bite was wonderful. Also yesterday I was kidnapped by my friend. We went out to the bars in Stamford. I drank WAY TOO MUCH because I'm good at the whole self control thing. It was fun though. We went as a group of three, hit about five bars, saw a bunch of the popular kids from high school who ignored us.. fun times. I spent forever talking to a guy and realized he was wearing a wedding ring. That was fun. His friend was hot though. I have no idea how it ended though. All I remember from the car ride home was feeling carsick. I vaguely remember changing into some of my friends clothes for PJs, and the next thing I know I'm waking up in her bed with her PJs on on top of my phone. This is one classy individual right here.

I spent the entire day recovering from my hangover. Didn't feel ok until about 5, which is pretty bad for me. And my God, Woof, I look terrible.

Five

Thanksgiving dinner here is lunch. Its delicious, but I am so over fed right now. My brother's being difficult. He's hanging out with my cousin and they're reminiscing about the good old days (a time when they did not like to hang out with me.. I was popularity plague or something. Idn). Anyway, he is mad if I leave, mad if I don't drink, and is mad that I have nothing to say. Ridiculous.

Anyway, today wasn't all that bad. I feel like 9x out of 10 my family is a blessing. This may or may not be that 1x.

I decided I want to learn to play the piano. I think it would be fun. Something to keep me busy. Not like I really have spare time, but I'd like to try.

Later Days
Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

four

1. Had a good day
2. Exhausted
3. Watching Glee
4. Thanksgiving tomorrow (!!!)
5. Joining Weight Watchersli

three

Yesterday I really did have the intention to write. I started twice, but I had so much work to do, I never got around to it. Yesterday I called out of work to work on it (shame, shame), and I hadn't finished until around 1:30 this morning, so I figured I'd just wait until this afternoon to get one in. I worked on my two papers, both of them leave something to be desired. Every time I start to do something, all I can think about is fixing them, and I just want to stop. It's awful.

My brother came home last night, which was fun. He's rarely ever home, and he's never home without his girlfriend (who I love), but it was really nice to see him yesterday. I got up at seven today to get here an hour early to work on my presentation. I have to work on that now actually. My class starts in an hour, and I want to have images inserted into my paper to make it a little longer (also because we're supposed to). I wont include all of them. At some point before next Tuesday, I have to get them images from the JStor articles, about 15, and then I can put it all together. I can't wait to be done.

I am so so so so so excited for Thanksgiving. Basically just the parade. I don't know why, but I live for it. Once August rolls around I get so excited. I think it is just always the same. It's like a lingering piece of childhood. LOVE IT. I'm also really looking forward to having so much time off with barely anything to do. All I have to do is work on the presentation (which will be kind of fun) and interview a family friend about her job. Win.

So anyway, maybe I'll write another one later. I have to get back to work.

two

It's been about two hours since I put up my first post, but instead of doing something productive, I decided to play around, read other people's blogs (I recommend Paper Sails), and play with my new dog. Well.. the dog is now asleep, and I have not touched my paper that's due tomorrow. I have to get 2.5 spaces, single spaced. It's really not all that bad, I'm prepared and everything, but I think I'd rather die than write it... and that's a problem.

Tomorrow I have to finish a much harder paper. I have to correct the first five pages and add another 6. I have the books, the outline, the materials.. everything but the motivation. It has to be done tomorrow though. It's due Tuesday, along with the presentation that goes with it. You see, I am an Art History major.. I need to scan and organize about 25 slides to go with the paper. UGH. I present a week from Tuesday. I'll be peeing my pants for sure.

As soon as I get all of that done, I can relax a little bit. Over Thanksgiving break, I have to conduct a short interview and write it up (PowerPoint style), but that's it. When I get back to school, I have to prepare five page research paper for my Environmental Science class, and correct another paper.. a horrible, horrible paper that will kill me. I also have to start studying for my finals. I have two, and one WILL require I study for the entire remaining semester, the other I can put off until finals week. Thank God.

I also have to pack up my room. Next semester I will be commuting from home because I really don't like being on campus. Also, I only have class two days a week (save an hour on the third day). It's really stupid to spend six thousand dollars for that. It's also a lot easier to be good on my diet (which needs some serious work) when I don't live on campus. Mostly though, I just hate living there.

I can't wait until Tuesday night, and more importantly, Thursday's PARADE.

one

SO I've been in the mood to start a new journal for a really long time. I've tried about three times in the last year, albeit unsuccessfully. This one though, this one I plan to keep. Just a few things: I'm a newly 22 year old female, nearing the end of my second-to-last semester of college. I am right outside New York City, so I may or may not be kind of a snot. I'm a Republican (if you hadn't noticed), and I am OBSESSED with my puppies. I'm single, I live at home, I have student loans, and I plan on doing an accelerated BSN when I graduate.